STEAM VERSION OF ZELDA

Autumn is the hottest gaming season at this time, young gamers, for the first time in a long summer, are in contact with the female sex. Only this time, instead of new waifu, we were given strong and independent women. Respect our body! We are not a product of sexual fantasies! Yuhuu bastard For more peaceful inhabitants on the PlayStation, a new spider came out where it seems like you can't kill Oops ...

Someone was left an orphan And just recently a new innovative Call of duty in the Battle Royal genre was released * Sounds of pain and humiliation * Well, against the background of everything Because of this, Steam users missed the release of the most important Japanese game on PC Steam-version of Zelda, and the eleventh, not like those pitiful console players FIRST Here we play PC-Boyars in the eleventh No, well, why not Zelda? Here is the Roach Here is Zelda Even Mario was brought in And the price is TWO THOUSAND RUBLES Yes, I can spend all this money on bets, donate to a dead War Thunder or order a paleonka T-shirt They also found a fool for me! Yohahahahah Well, let's try And the game welcomes us to the main menu, where there is nothing, even the exit buttons Snake! Sreeeyyyk !!! And how good it is that everything here is English and it was not difficult for me to find the "Start" button.

I was BORN So stop! Where are we running? Mother, don't leave me with her! She's stupid! Damn, how did she manage to forget me in the river? ABOUT! It's Mario! He will save me! What a nice little soft delicious baby Em, man, I changed my mind, please let me go! After 18 years ...

So stop, if I'm zelda, then who is she? I will call you Link. And you are Trifors. Let's go to a meeting, exciting adventures! I didn’t think that I would have to defeat water before drinking it HARDCORE Well, since water is the main enemy of humanity.

And for this we need to go to the Mercedes church to pray Gods Anime God please save me from this ghost, he is tired of chasing me. AMIYIN Yes damn it! Further, the fat mother informs us that we are adoptive and must leave Konoha. Thank you man for giving me nothing in the end - Sasuke, I will wait for you! - I went to nafig, I'm Zelda Forward Roach travel through this endless world, killing live cucumbers CUCUMBER RIIIIK But it did not last long, after six minutes the real essence of the game begins * Run boy run * And at that moment I noticed what a bad graphics in Zelda, therefore It's time to use Nvidia's rtx magic How do you like Nintendo? Bliiin, two thousand bucks! The finished rtx! Innovative graphics !!! * The sound of extinguishing the fire * Let's continue And the King meets us in the city He says that Zelda is the chosen one, praises us and puts us in jail Hmm ...

Just like in Russia * Anthem of Russia * In the future, we will get out to freedom together with the dude from Van Pis V in the future, we will meet even more allies such as: Wonder Woman, who really wants Red Veronica, she is a Soviet spy The only Asian in the Japanese game I don’t remember who it is at all ...

Buttercup, which will definitely make you happy Together with them we will try to defeat the main villain of this world is a Huge Kolobok on steroids. Hmm, I never thought that the robot puss from NieR: Automata will pump this way over this Summer. Important disadvantages of the game are the main character without voice acting, like most dialogues in this game.

I see, I heard everything .. Thank you ... thank you ... And the music. Identical and out of topic Oh, funny song! Auf, fun straight! At the same time, the open world looks like a rectum, after three doshiraks in a row The dialogue system sometimes makes you think very hard ...